Near Forth Worth, Texas, 1867

“Dammit all to hell, hold the horse steady!”

Wade’s profane shout burned Catherine’s ears. Typical, she thought, disgusted. But not her problem, at least for the moment. Putting him out of her mind, she resumed her stalking through the hayloft, hunting for the newest batch of kittens. From below a horse whinnied loudly and she froze. It sounded like Ginger, her mare. Catherine ran over to the hayloft window, standing on her toes to see, and looked out across the paddock. Sure enough, there was Ginger. Catherine’s brother-in-law, Wade Masters, had her on a lead, steadying her as one of the ranch hands ran across the dusty ground toward the gate. Two others stood by in the dust, watching. In the background she heard a stallion trumpet.

What was Wade doing with Ginger?

She studied him, which was a mistake. His tall form was covered in dust and sweat, but even from the hayloft he looked better than any man should. The thin fabric of his shirt clung to his work-toughened body, outlining his every feature. Work-hardened, strong as the horses he loved so much, unwilling to compromise. Everything about him called to her, and she hated him for it. Wade made her gut twist with longing, and watching the play of his body as he held the horse firm didn’t help. Ginger reared up, and his broad-rimmed hat flew off his head. He steadied her, speaking in gentle, soothing tones that ran right along Catherine’s spine, making her wonder just how good he might sound next to a woman in the middle of the night.

She shook her head, warding off the thoughts. She might be a widow, but it still wasn’t decent, the way she sometimes dreamed about Wade. No good woman would spend her meals studying his firm, full lips across the dinner table. And a prudent woman wouldn’t take an extra ten minutes every time she trimmed his sun-streaked brown hair in the kitchen, running her fingers through the soft locks and imagining them against her stomach.

The ranch hand swung open the gate and led Wade’s stallion, Baron, into the fenced area. Suddenly she realized what was going on down there—Wade was going to breed Ginger to Baron. Catherine’s eyes narrowed in anger.
“Wade Masters, you stop that right now!” she yelled out the window without a second thought. The men looked up at her, startled, and then a slow grin stole across Wade’s handsome face.

“You want to help breed the horses, Cat?” he called back, his tone taunting. “I didn’t know ladies liked to watch these things, but we can use the help.”

Anger washed through Catherine and she gritted her teeth, even as she felt a hot blush rising across her face. Women didn’t talk about horse breeding. But Wade knew exactly how she felt about Ginger. They’d discussed it last week. She didn’t want the mare bred this season. She needed time to recover from her last foal. Not to mention that Catherine wanted Ginger in good riding condition. If she got that teaching job in town, she’d need her. She hadn’t mentioned teaching to Wade just yet, but that didn’t mean she had to just sit back and let Wade wreck everything by getting her mare pregnant. Catherine stormed across the loft to the ladder, only to find Wade climbing up toward her.
“What’s happening with Ginger?” she asked, toying with the idea of kicking him back down to the barn floor if she didn’t like the answer. Perhaps her intentions showed in her face, because he didn’t answer her until he’d pulled himself up into the loft.

“Go to the window and see for yourself,” he said, nodding toward the opening.

She shot him a suspicious look, then headed back to the window. José, another of the hands, had taken Wade’s place holding Ginger’s lead, clicking at her as the other hand brought in Baron.

“Wade, you have to tell them to stop,” Catherine said, whirling around to confront him, too angry to feel embarrassed. He’d come up behind her, though, and she found herself face-to-face with him, far too close for comfort.
“It’s too late, he already has her scent,” Wade said. His voice was low and smooth, holding just a touch of condescending exasperation. She hated that tone. Bully. The man was as full of himself now as he’d been as a ten-year-old taunting her, “Here, kitty Cat, Cat, Cat!” before catching her and pulling her braids. But soon she’d be rid of him. The teacher’s job came with a house.

“She’s fine, look for yourself,” he continued, and something in his tone caught her attention. She looked up at him, really looking this time, and realized her studied her far too closely. His face was hard, brown from years of sun, his eyes cold with the shadows they’d held since coming home from the war. Their green color startled her, as they always did. He focused on her face so intently it was uncomfortable. And he was too tall, looming over her, making her feel small and powerless.

To avoid facing him, she turned back toward to the window to watch her mare. The gentle female had gone still as Baron sidled up next to her, intently sniffing, nudging her with his nose. The ranch hands continued holding the leads, but they kept them loose, allowing the horses some space. Baron reared up just a little, and Catherine saw the mare twitch her tail to one side. They were about to mate, right in front of her, and while she’d seen animals breeding before, she wasn’t prepared to witness it with Wade.

Dear heavens, they had too much tension between them already.

But Wade stepped closer to her, putting one hand on the window frame on either side of her head, trapping her. She felt his hot breath on the back of her neck as he leaned forward to speak low and soft.

“Ginger knows what she wants,” he said. “She’s not afraid of Baron. You don’t need to worry about her, Cat. She’s doing what she was designed to do.”

The words sent a shiver right down her spine, tickling her all the way to her toes. Enough was enough, she shouldn’t stay here and watch. It wasn’t proper. Ginger squealed again, and then Baron reared up and covered her. Catherine’s eyes widened as she saw the dark length of the stallion’s enormous penis lengthen.

“I can’t believe how big it is,” she said softly, and blushed fiercely, damning her stupid tongue. Why did she always blurt out what she was thinking? Other girls never said foolish things like that, yet she’d been doing it all her life. Wade chuckled in her ear, and moved closer in, crowding her body against the wall. She felt the heat of him against her back, and in that moment her worst suspicions were confirmed.

Wade wanted her, the way a man wants a woman.

The way Catherine wanted him too.

The length of his body was hot against her, all too easy to feel through the thin fabric of her work clothes. Her mama had always warned her that leaving off her corset and petticoats would cause her trouble. But who could bear wearing the hot garments doing chores around the ranch? She’d planned to put them back on after returning to the ranch house. After all, respectable teachers always wore their stays… And now would be a real good time to head home and put them on, she thought. She pushed back against Wade, trying to free herself. Instead of giving, he moved closer, and the unmistakable feel of his hard erection pushing against her butt grew so prominent that she couldn’t pretend not to feel it.

“You don’t need to worry about her,” Wade said. Catherine glanced down at the stallion as he reared up over her mare, then closed her eyes resolutely.

“Ladies don’t see things like this,” she said, hoping it would go quickly. He gave a low chuckle.

“Really?” he said. “You had a pretty strong opinion a moment ago. Afraid?”

Catherine tried to stomp on his foot, but he pressed her so close to the wall that she couldn’t move. She sighed in frustration.

“Wade, this isn’t what I want.”

“For Ginger or yourself?” he asked, pushing his hips up against her butt, pressing his hardened penis into her soft flesh. It felt good. It had been so long since she’d touched a man like that. She reminded herself firmly that just because a male feels good at first doesn’t mean it’s worth a woman giving up her freedom.
“You shouldn’t do that, Wade,” she said. “You know better. You’re like a brother to me. We’re family.”
His bark of laughter was harsh, filling her ears and making her wince.

“You’re never been like a sister to me,” he said. “I still don’t understand why you were crazy enough to marry my brother, but he’s dead and you can’t tell me you regret it.”

Silence hung between them. He was right, and they both knew it. She’d look like a fool if she tried to deny her relief when the sheriff told her about Ryan’s death. In a brothel, no less. He’d made her life a living hell. Failing to mourn him left her feeling guilty, though. No proper woman would be happy to lose a husband, would she?

“You’ve been very good to me since Ryan’s death,” she said, choosing her words carefully. He nudged against her again, and she stiffened and spread her legs, unwittingly copying the mare’s stance. She realized her mistake in an instant as he rubbed against her, but couldn’t bring herself to back down. She didn’t want to show him any weakness at all. Dear heavens, how could such a difficult man feel so good? She could sense her nipples hardening. Traitors. She needed to draw a line with him. Quickly.

“Your father too. I know he meant it when he said I could live here as long as I want. But the time’s come for me to move on.”

He froze behind her.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“I’ve applied for the teaching position in town. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about it,” she said, her voice calm, as if his organ weren’t all but entering her from behind. She sensed the tremendous tension in his limbs, knew it was taking a great deal of self-control for him to hold back his reaction to her news. She really should have waited until a better time to talk to him.

Perhaps in front of witnesses. Too late now…

“You keep house for me and Dad, and you’re an important part of this ranching operation,” he said. “Nobody wants you to leave, Catherine.”

He crowded against her further as he spoke, and her breath caught. She could smell him, the tang of his sweat and the dirt, and just a hint of horse too. A working man’s scent. Every breath made her more uncomfortable, and she knew all too well what her foolish body wanted from him. Even at his worst, Wade’s physical form had always called to her. The image of Baron penetrating Ginger leapt to mind, and she shivered.

He thrust himself up at her imperiously, demanding her surrender with his body language. Liquid heat rose up along her legs. It would be so easy to give in to him, to let him toss her skirts up and take her body as surely as Ginger’s had been taken. Catherine took a deep, steadying breath. Successful teachers didn’t give in to wanton urges. Of course, she wasn’t a teacher yet. Stay focused, she reminded herself.

“We can talk about this later, Wade,” she said, her voice sounding far firmer than she felt. “It isn’t right for you to be this close to me, whatever our relationship. Let me go back to the house.”

“Are you sure you want to?” he asked, his voice deceptively smooth. He pulled one hand from the window and smoothed it down along her bodice. It skimmed over her nipples, and she felt the way his fingers jerked spasmodically the instant he realized she wasn’t wearing anything but her dress and a thin chemise.

Then his hand cupped her breast, giving the nipple a little pinch. He might as well stick his hand between her legs, given the way sensation tore through her. She buckled against him, and he brought his other hand around to support her weight. Now he held both breasts, pulling her back to his body, grinding her bottom against his arousal.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to keep doing this?” he asked, his voice a whisper. He let one hand drop down, pulling at the fabric of her dress until he reached under the hemline, skimming his fingers across her thigh.

Catherine gasped. His touch was like fire, and need tore through her so fast it hurt. With the pain came sudden clarity, and she wrenched herself free of him, banging into the wall painfully. Then she whirled to face him. Why couldn’t the darned man give her some space?

“You don’t get to touch me,” she said. “Ever.”

“This has been brewing between us for a long time,” Wade said, his eyes hard and steady. “When I came home and found you married to my brother, I kept my hands off you. I didn’t want to, but I did. And when he died I gave you time to recover. But it’s been a year, Cat. It’s time for us to sort this out.”

His words caught her off guard. Had it really been a year since Ryan’s death? She thought about the date, and realized he was right. Exactly right. Today was the anniversary. She gave a little shiver.

“Time for you to come out of mourning,” he said, his voice grim. “I’ve been very patient with you, but it’s over now. I want you, Cat, and I always get what I want.”

“I don’t want you,” she said hotly. He raised one brow, mocking her, and she shook her head quickly. “No, what I mean is that I don’t want to be married again, and I don’t want to be under any man’s control. Ever. I’m going to get a job and support myself. If I canoodle with you, that won’t work. They won’t let a loose woman be the schoolteacher. And don’t call me Cat!”

“You don’t need a job, Catherine,” he said, his tone firm and final. “You already have one. You manage the ranch house, and do a hell of a job with it too. The men love you, Dad loves you and if I don’t get my cock into you soon I’m going to explode. That’s enough for any woman.”

“Don’t you dare use words like that with me,” she said, shocked. “I may not be a fancy lady, but I am a respectable woman. You’ll treat me as such.”

He laughed, and backed away from her. The pressure in the air eased, and Catherine had to stop herself from bolting out of the loft. She had a feeling that might raise the predator in him. Instead she looked him right in the eye, holding his gaze like a sheepdog staring down an errant charge. Time to lay down the law with Wade.

“You don’t have the right to tell me what to do, Wade,” she said. “I’ll make my own way, thank you very much. And if you can’t treat me with respect, then you should keep your mouth shut. I’ll go where I want to go.”

She ducked around him, marching purposefully toward the ladder. Best to escape while she had the final word. His laugh followed her and she stiffened her spine.

“You go ahead and try to leave, Cat,” he said. “See what happens. You belong to me, and I don’t give up what’s mine whether it’s land, cattle or a woman. The sooner you understand that, the happier you’ll be.”

From Catherine's Awakening, Copyright 2008, Joanna Wylde